Episode 37 – Especially For The Ladies

Posted on May 30th, 2008 in Podcast Episodes by chris
 
 Episode 37 - Especially For The Ladies [36:39m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

This episode is going out to all the sweet ladies. At least it is at the start, but then we get into the politics of restaurants and dating and non-romantic eateries. Then we basically start having a go at cavemen for not being funny enough, before moving onto something else altogether.

Remember Jaws? It was awesome, wasn’t it? Or was it? Was the shark not a little bit flappy mouthed? Did the bit at the end where they’re on the boat not go on for a little bit too long? Was the whole thing not a publicity disaster for the shark community? Were Richard Dreyfuss and Roy Schneider not a little bit flippant on their way home at the end?

And that’s just the first Jaws.  Don’t get us started on Jaws 4: The Revenge. Well, as it goes, you don’t need to get us started, because we have already started and stopped, and recorded the event as Episode 37 of The Blueprint Podcast.

We also give a brief an formless critique of the new Terminator TV programme, in which some stuff happens, but in all honesty I can’t remember much of it because of Summer Glau. Summer Glau is definitely in it, I can tell you that much.

Summer Glau. Just, really, really easy to look at.

This is the poster from the new stage play Chris is writing, called Lovely Lovely Summer Glau. It’s about Summer Glau. In the play, she goes around being lovely, and the townspeople rejoice.

We’ll be back next Friday at 5pm (UK time), so join us then.

Episode 36 – Transexual Chips

Posted on May 23rd, 2008 in Podcast Episodes by chris
 
 Episode 36 - Transexual Chips [36:54m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

We’re having fun on this episode, and we hope that it’s infectious rather than annoying. Chris discovers that Greg can be made to laugh by exposing him to childish rude words, and obviously uses this new weapon to his advantage when possible.

We find out about Chris’s daredevil onstage exploits in his younger days involving an apple and a samurai sword, and expose another irrational protest. This time it’s a man cutting his own car in half in order to “thwart” some vehicle clampers. Now come on. Who’s being thwarted there? The clampers probably had a lot less hassle to deal with afterwards.

Some cow business involving flatulence and tax comes into play, and there is some bickering between Chris and Greg over various things.

Neil Young, though, is living the high life, having achieved every rock star’s dream of having a spider named after him. We discuss this at more length than it deserves, but don’t worry, we do punctuate it with tangental conversation about other things entirely.

CHiPs. They aren't mentioned in this episode, but then so aren't many other things. Girls used to really like Ponch, didn't they?

This episode’s picture is of CHiPs, rather than chips as discussed. Nor are we suggesting that either of them is a transexual, or that there would be anything wrong with it if they were. Hell’s bells, it’s a legal minefield, this podcasting thing.

Episode 35 – Nuclear Autobahn!

Posted on May 16th, 2008 in Podcast Episodes by chris
 
 Episode 35 - Nuclear Autobahn! [45:50m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Welcome to the weekend, friends. As ever, we’ve scoured the world looking for the quirkiest and most mind-boggling stories, eithout even knowing what “boggling”really means. How do you “boggle” something, really? No, really, have you ever used that word without prefacing it with “mind”? No, you haven’t. You don’t foot boggle, you don’t arm boggle, you don’t go out for a bit of a boggle. You don’t pay for goods and services in boggles, and it was Buggles, rather than Boggles, who sang Video Killed The Radio Star.

So think on.

We get nuclear, and we get German. It’s all going on. I’m aware that I have given you very little information here.

Clarkson - he likes the Autobahn

What we’re showing you here is a picture of Jeremy Clarkson. He really likes the Autobahn. I wonder how many times he’s said “Autobahn”. I bet it’s loads.

Episode 34 – Doctor Goldfish vs Bongo Langford

Posted on May 9th, 2008 in Podcast Episodes by chris
 
 Episode 34 - Doctor Goldfish vs Bongo Langford [36:52m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

We’re back with another Blueprint Podcast. As warm weather makes a welcome appearance in the British Isles, we’re in fine fettle and raring to bring you more quirky news and chat.

From Bonnie Langford to a man who claims to be able to train a goldfish, this episode covers all of the topics that we’re sure have been on your mind this week. Greg commits an act of violence, and Chris can’t tell you anything about jury service.

Yet another seemingly pointless protest is discussed, this time involving a fireman who feels an urgent need to fly a skull and crossbones outside his house. You’ve got to ask yourself what the point is in that one. You could argue that it’s about freedom or something, but it also could be a lot more about someone being stubborn.

We’ll be back next Friday (that’s May 16th) at 5pm, UK Time.

Three trained goldfish draw their plans against us.

The goldfish on the left has trained his two friends to form rudimentary piscine pyramids.

Episode 33 – Talking Wheelie Bin Fascism Blues Part Two

Posted on May 2nd, 2008 in Podcast Episodes by chris
 
 Episode 33 - Talking Wheelie Bin Fascism Blues Part Two [32:00m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Welcome back to part two of our two-part examination of how it’s possible to weave fascism into talk of wheelie bins. There’s a sentence you’re unlikely to find anywhere else.

Having talked about a story concerning a man who overfilled his wheelie bin and then saw the fine imposed upon him more than double when he ignored it, we go between the lines and lay into The Daily Mail a bit. Which is always fun. If you like The Daily Mail, you  should still listen, as this episode will give you the feeling you enjoy so much of having your blood boil.

For those listeners who don’t live in the UK, The Daily Mail is a national newspaper with a slightly chequered past and a questionable sense of perspective. That’s about all you need to know in order to feel primed for this episode. Shocking revelations await for those who have never thought too much about British Fascism.

We find time to crack some jokes as well, though, so don’t worry.

Hitler, positively incensed after hearing that we have been talking about him behind his back.

In a rarely-acknowledged cut of Superman II, Hitler was sent into the Phantom Zone, with hilarious results.

Come back and see us for Episode 34 on Friday, May 9th (Chris’s birthday!) at 5pm (UK Time)