The Blueprint Podcast

 

 Episode 76 - The Nazis Were Bad [26:36m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

In Episode 76, we reminisce about our old pal Xavier Laurent, who has refused to speak to us for some time now following the various problems we had with translators. Dave’s been putting some work in on that front, so we’ll hopefully have some Xavier-based information to give you soon, but not this week.

Dave talks us through how France narrowly avoided becoming a far-right-wing nation, but it soon descends into bum jokes.

Chris has conducted an experiment by reading a load of propaganda to find out what it might have been like to be a Nazi. Happily he managed to avoid becoming one. Phew. We discuss the Nazis in a manner which avoids the use of any facts whatsoever.

All in all, though, we’re happy, chuckling dudes. Quite early on, Chris mentions Gil Gerard, who played Buck Rogers in the late 1970s-early 1980s version of the franchise. However, as a kid, Chris had a massive crush on Erin Gray, who played Wilma Deering, so we’ll have a picture of her instead.

Erin Gray as Colonel Wilma Deering - yes please.

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 Episode 75 - Noise Theft [26:46m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

We like to stick a flag on world events once in a while, and with the recent pointless conviction of the founders of Pirate Bay, we tackle noise theft in this episode.

Having reloaded their special foot-shooting gun some years after taking down Napster and causing file-sharing to become the many-headed monster that it is today, the people who themselves live in order to make huge sums of money from the work of creative people who are paid far less have done it again.

Pirate Bay is still there, and even if it wasn’t, Mininova is, and so is Piraboogle and all the rest of them.

Spotify, which is pretty much the same thing that Napster suggested ten years ago, has now occupied a position whereby everything is legal, the music industry make money out of it, and the consumer gets instant access to free tunes. Perfect, if wholly ridiculous that they didn’t just let Napster provide the same service back in the day.

They could do the same thing with movies and TV shows if they felt like it. In fact, I can legally watch On Demand television through my Virgin Media connection, but if I miss, say Lost one day and wanted to catch up with it the next, it would be illegal for me to download the episode using bittorrent using the same connection. Mental.

The Napster case just fragmented the issue and made it unmanageable for years. The Pirate Bay issue will do the same thing again, and here’s the kicker – it was fragmented already, because bittorrent doesn’t rely on one website’s existence to work. It relies on bittorrent clients which are available for free download. Even those are plentiful.

The lawyers can play Whack-A-Mole until they retire, and it’s they who are really sucking the money out of the music and DVD industries. They’re the ones who have somehow got people convinced that chasing website owners is better than actually trying to do something positive about the way that copyrighted content is delivered in the 21st Century.

Spotify works, so create the exact same service for movies and TV shows, you absolute bunch of idiots.

Rant over. We also give you a scat singing masterclass during this episode, but not before a thrilling game of Dog Bingo.

We hope you enjoy this week’s podcast. This week’s photo is of some file sharing.

File sharing - Always use clean files

And for good measure, here’s a picture of Reveen as well, since we talk about him this week.

Reveen. He wants you to relax with him

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 Episode 74 - You Have Been Watching... [20:09m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Remember when British sitcoms used to end with “You Have Been Watching…” and then a montage of clips of each of the stars with their name captioned on the screen? There were quite a few of them, and we tackle the inaccuracies and untruths within one British sitcom this week, or at least Chris does despite Dave’s protests that it wasn’t meant to be real.

We’re coming to you from Barnsley once again, and although we are still a bit hungover, we’re a using sentences a bit more than we were last week.

Please sponsor Chris’s continuing charity moustache, then join us next week for the next thrilling installment of The Blueprint Podcast.

Ruth Madoc in Hi-De-Hi. Chris met her at the Billingham Forum when he was about 18, fact fans. She was very nice.

PS – while looking for Hi-De-Hi related stuff, I’ve just discovered that actress Dianne Holland, who played Yvonne Stewart-Hargreaves in the show, died this February aged 78.  Apparently she was a good laugh in real life.

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 Episode 73 - Hangovers in Barnsley [21:21m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

We greet you this week from some nursing accommodation in a Barnsley hospital, the morning after one of those big nights out where the world becomes your friend and everyone wakes up wondering what day it is and where they are.

We pick our way through the previous evening, and along the way find time for the noble signwriting profession and how it would fit into life in the distant future.

We have to say a very special hello and thanks to John and Patrick, whose 40th birthday party we found ourselves attending in Barnsley. Thanks to you guys, and to your friends and family for making us feel so very welcome, and for letting us have loads of goes on the karaoke and buffet.

Here’s the hospital we recorded this podcast at.

Greetings from Barnsley, one friendly town.

We’ll be back with another Barnsley-based episode next week, join us then at www.blueprintpodcast.com.

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 Episode 70 - War! Heeurgh! Good God Y'all [8:56m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Episode 70 is a Chris-only episode. Dave is out of circulation at the moment, learning the ways of the people in a far flung part of the world and healing their ills. He’ll be back in a couple of weeks or so.

There’s a News Roundup this week, with stories from the worlds of speaking, the economic downturn and housing market, bears, anti-smoking hypocrisy, Facebook,  and wheelie bin collections.

Other than that, it’s just Chris and a bit of a rant about relationships and how most people in the world don’t actually seem to like each other very much.

Please sponsor Chris to grow a moustache throughout the month of April. You can leave a donation, however large or small, by going to http://www.justgiving.com/chris-tash.

Here’s a couple who are reaching relationship Armageddon.

Buster Keaton and the timeless custard pie

The Blueprint Podcast will return next week with episode 71, see you then.

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 Episode 68 - How to Offend Scotland [11:38m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

We’ve got to start with an apology to all of Scotland. Towards the end of this podcast, Chris claims to be able to do Scottish accents, and there’s a chance that he in cannot in fact do anything of the sort.

Apart from that, we get into a trick to pysche out other people in an exam situation, which may not work in world politics, and consider the possibility of a Dadcast, involving our dads.

As ever, it’s all happening. We’ll be back with episode 69 in but a week’s time. Until then, please enjoy this picture of beautiful Scotland, which is a very very good place, and the people there are great, and forgiving.

Scotland - great.

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We have become Twits recently, or at least Chris has, and you’ll find him (me (him)) Twittering most days.

Twitter is a fun little thing. It’s a bit like an unholy union between the status updates of Facebook and the chat rooms of the Internet’s earlier days. The best thing about it is that many famous people are there, and you can pretend that you’re friends with them, even if they largely ignore your sicophantic overtures.

So far, I have been ignored by Stephen Fry, Jonathan Ross and Richard Herring. Oh, and Wesley Crusher from Star Trek, as well. Not a bad list of ignorers, I trust you’ll agree. I aim to be ignored by royalty and a talking animal by the end of this year.

You can come and see what’s going on behind the scenes if you go to http://twitter.com/BlueprintPod

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 Episode 67 - Tequila! [12:52m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

A podcast really isn’t a podcast until it’s dealt with the thorny issue of foreign news bulletins which use the song Tequila! as their background music.

Finally we’re putting that right, can’t believe it took us until episode 67 to do that.On the upside, though, it gives Chris a chance to tell a story with no ending about a day out in London he had about a decade ago.

I feel a bit like James Bond at the moment, because I’m typing this using my electronic laptop computer, and what’s more I’m doing so in a hotel in Cairo. Get me.

The Blueprint Podcast will return from North Africa to good old freezing cold northern Europe in time for next week’s episode, so join us then, or as they say here in Egypt, “Pyramid”

Tequila, a drink celebrated musically, but Gloomy Sunday is probably more appropriate the day after your big tequila-fuelled party.

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 Episode 61 - I Hamster Resurrection [46:53m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

As 2009 swings into action, bringing with it uncertainty for many, disaster for some, and hopefully joy and happiness for others, The Blueprint Podcast continues to provide you with a bit of fun chat all the way from England.

In this episode, Dave visits a farty shop, which brings us to discussion of why farts are funny, and why egg sandwiches smell of farts when they aren’t made of poo.

The hamster portion of the episode relates to the extraordinary behaviour of Chris’s son’s hamster recently, and does not concern Richard Hammond on this occasion, although both had experiences with certain superficial similarities.

Here’s another example of a hamster doing the same thing from the BBC News website, as mentioned in the podcast.

In the wild, a healthy female Bigtrak will lay up to five eggs every twenty years or so. This female in captivity at Bristol Zoo has laid just two. Sadly neither are likely to survive to hatching.

We shall return in but a week’s time. If you like our little podcast, please tell your pals about it, because it’s always encouraging to see a lot of people listening.

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