The Blueprint Podcast

 

 Episode 76 - The Nazis Were Bad [26:36m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

In Episode 76, we reminisce about our old pal Xavier Laurent, who has refused to speak to us for some time now following the various problems we had with translators. Dave’s been putting some work in on that front, so we’ll hopefully have some Xavier-based information to give you soon, but not this week.

Dave talks us through how France narrowly avoided becoming a far-right-wing nation, but it soon descends into bum jokes.

Chris has conducted an experiment by reading a load of propaganda to find out what it might have been like to be a Nazi. Happily he managed to avoid becoming one. Phew. We discuss the Nazis in a manner which avoids the use of any facts whatsoever.

All in all, though, we’re happy, chuckling dudes. Quite early on, Chris mentions Gil Gerard, who played Buck Rogers in the late 1970s-early 1980s version of the franchise. However, as a kid, Chris had a massive crush on Erin Gray, who played Wilma Deering, so we’ll have a picture of her instead.

Erin Gray as Colonel Wilma Deering - yes please.

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 Episode 70 - War! Heeurgh! Good God Y'all [8:56m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Episode 70 is a Chris-only episode. Dave is out of circulation at the moment, learning the ways of the people in a far flung part of the world and healing their ills. He’ll be back in a couple of weeks or so.

There’s a News Roundup this week, with stories from the worlds of speaking, the economic downturn and housing market, bears, anti-smoking hypocrisy, Facebook,  and wheelie bin collections.

Other than that, it’s just Chris and a bit of a rant about relationships and how most people in the world don’t actually seem to like each other very much.

Please sponsor Chris to grow a moustache throughout the month of April. You can leave a donation, however large or small, by going to http://www.justgiving.com/chris-tash.

Here’s a couple who are reaching relationship Armageddon.

Buster Keaton and the timeless custard pie

The Blueprint Podcast will return next week with episode 71, see you then.

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 Episode 69 - Passenger Slavery [11:39m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Chris has a bee in his bonnet this week about car passengers. It’s not a major beef, not like death, poverty or war, but a beef nonetheless.

We’ve also got another game of Who On Earth with which to perplex and entertain you as you go about your daily lives.

We’ll be back with epsiode 70 next week, see you then.

Yield

And ALSO…

Hi everyone.

I, Chris, am growing a charity moustache during the month of April 09. It’s in aid of the Hartlepool and District Hospice, which provides terminally ill people and their loved ones with a better quality of life.

I’ll be posting photos of my tash progress here and on Twitter so that sponsors can see their investment flourish as well as give to a very good cause.

We’ve never asked you for a penny for 69 episodes of Blueprint fun, so please give a few quid to charity – you can donate online by going to…

http://www.justgiving.com/chris-tash

I’ll also thank everyone who donates on the Blueprint Podcast (unless you ask not to be mentioned), thus making you part of Blueprint Podcast history.

Tom Selleck - moustache owner

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 Episode 68 - How to Offend Scotland [11:38m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

We’ve got to start with an apology to all of Scotland. Towards the end of this podcast, Chris claims to be able to do Scottish accents, and there’s a chance that he in cannot in fact do anything of the sort.

Apart from that, we get into a trick to pysche out other people in an exam situation, which may not work in world politics, and consider the possibility of a Dadcast, involving our dads.

As ever, it’s all happening. We’ll be back with episode 69 in but a week’s time. Until then, please enjoy this picture of beautiful Scotland, which is a very very good place, and the people there are great, and forgiving.

Scotland - great.

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We have become Twits recently, or at least Chris has, and you’ll find him (me (him)) Twittering most days.

Twitter is a fun little thing. It’s a bit like an unholy union between the status updates of Facebook and the chat rooms of the Internet’s earlier days. The best thing about it is that many famous people are there, and you can pretend that you’re friends with them, even if they largely ignore your sicophantic overtures.

So far, I have been ignored by Stephen Fry, Jonathan Ross and Richard Herring. Oh, and Wesley Crusher from Star Trek, as well. Not a bad list of ignorers, I trust you’ll agree. I aim to be ignored by royalty and a talking animal by the end of this year.

You can come and see what’s going on behind the scenes if you go to http://twitter.com/BlueprintPod

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 Episode 63 - Nose Flutes [23:04m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Bang! Episode 63 is here. In this episode, Dave laments the difficulty of finding musical instruments beginning with the letter N.

WIth the benefit of hindsight and Google, I’ve been able to find out that there are loads of them, albeit obscure ones or ones which may not count. The best one is “Nakers”, which is/are a sort of drum(s), but just might be pronounced “knackers” which would be fantastic.

The Vikings, starring Tony Curtis and Kirk Douglas. Made in 1958 and still as fresh as a daisy, by Odin's beard.

We’ll be back again in but a week, so join us then for more Blueprintastic podcasting fun from the United Kingdom.

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 Episode 59 - Dickie Bow meets the Bride of Frankenstein [34:48m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

As Christmas time sweeps ever closer, and every store in the land battles ferociously to be the one sending us the most email, it’s time to enjoy some free entertainment from The Blueprint.

Dave’s encyclopedia knowledge of old James Whale horror films and less old but still pretty old mentalists comes into play this week. He also fights to get back into the Quotations game with the score at the start of this episode at 1-0 to Chris.

Received Pronounciation is what brings us onto the subjects of Frankenstein and mentalism, because of actor Ernest Thesiger’s thorough use of the letters in words, and Polish mind reader Chan Canasta’s unique way of speaking in a second language.

We’re also possibly contacted by aliens, in the latest of a longish line of slightly odd things that people have either emailed to us, or said to us about our podcast.

Dr Praetorius and Chan Canasta both like Blake's 7.

It’s business as usual for The Blueprint Podcast over Christmas, and we’ll be back with our next episode at 5pm (UK Time) on Boxing Day (December 26th), so you can have a listen to us with your new Christmas mp3 players and computers.

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 Episode 58 - All Serial Killer, No Filler [35:38m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

We’re straight into the action this week, with some discussion about the sinister nature of old school photographs when displayed in the homes of adults.

Chris says “literally” a bit too much, and Superman somehow gets involved again. We’re always talking about Superman, us.

This takes us onto serial killers, and we hang around there for a while. Both Chris and Dave have ideas for a serial killer movie. Let us know which one you would rather go to see at your local cinema, or movie theater if you live in America, as many of you do.

Not many comedy podcasts will tackle serial killers for you, but we will. The more we listen to our movie ideas, the more we wish that we had easy access to rich movie producers. If YOU are a rich movie executive with decision-making powers, get in touch with us and we might let you make The Pizza Wheel Murders or I’ve Got Legs.

The Emperor Ming from Flash Gordon gets a long overdue telling-off for his misdeeds and general flaws in character. Other movie villains are also admonished for their low-quality execution of executions.

The Pizza Wheel Murders - if youre not dead in 30 minutes, he'll kill you for free.

We’ll be back in but a week, make sure you’ve got us – click here to subscribe to The Blueprint Podcast using iTunes. IF you don’t have iTunes installed on your computer, don’t worry, it’s a free download, and you can immerse yourself in the modern world of podcasts and stuff.

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 Episode 53 - Super War! [37:53m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Welcome back to episode 53, in which Chris and Dave once again tackle the mighty issues of the day.

This week, after some parenting advice from Chris regarding Star Trek: The Next Generation, we’re keen to settle once and for all the question of who’s the greatest – Batman, Spiderman or Superman? As laymen in the superhero knowledge world, we don’t use the usual set of criteria for judging such things, though. We’ve got our own ideas.

For example, with which of the three would you feel most uncomfortable if you were trapped with them, naked in a lift (elevator, American listeners). Which would make the best rabbi? You get the picture.

This week’s visual aid constitutes proof of the result of the first “Who’s The Greatest” contest.

Please take the time to fill in our Listener Survey – it only takes a minute or two, and it helps us to find out, broadly speaking, what sort of people we’ve got listening to the podcast. That in turn helps us to improve what we do.

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