The Blueprint Podcast

 

 Episode 75 - Noise Theft [26:46m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

We like to stick a flag on world events once in a while, and with the recent pointless conviction of the founders of Pirate Bay, we tackle noise theft in this episode.

Having reloaded their special foot-shooting gun some years after taking down Napster and causing file-sharing to become the many-headed monster that it is today, the people who themselves live in order to make huge sums of money from the work of creative people who are paid far less have done it again.

Pirate Bay is still there, and even if it wasn’t, Mininova is, and so is Piraboogle and all the rest of them.

Spotify, which is pretty much the same thing that Napster suggested ten years ago, has now occupied a position whereby everything is legal, the music industry make money out of it, and the consumer gets instant access to free tunes. Perfect, if wholly ridiculous that they didn’t just let Napster provide the same service back in the day.

They could do the same thing with movies and TV shows if they felt like it. In fact, I can legally watch On Demand television through my Virgin Media connection, but if I miss, say Lost one day and wanted to catch up with it the next, it would be illegal for me to download the episode using bittorrent using the same connection. Mental.

The Napster case just fragmented the issue and made it unmanageable for years. The Pirate Bay issue will do the same thing again, and here’s the kicker – it was fragmented already, because bittorrent doesn’t rely on one website’s existence to work. It relies on bittorrent clients which are available for free download. Even those are plentiful.

The lawyers can play Whack-A-Mole until they retire, and it’s they who are really sucking the money out of the music and DVD industries. They’re the ones who have somehow got people convinced that chasing website owners is better than actually trying to do something positive about the way that copyrighted content is delivered in the 21st Century.

Spotify works, so create the exact same service for movies and TV shows, you absolute bunch of idiots.

Rant over. We also give you a scat singing masterclass during this episode, but not before a thrilling game of Dog Bingo.

We hope you enjoy this week’s podcast. This week’s photo is of some file sharing.

File sharing - Always use clean files

And for good measure, here’s a picture of Reveen as well, since we talk about him this week.

Reveen. He wants you to relax with him

• Comments Comments Off

 

 Episode 74 - You Have Been Watching... [20:09m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Remember when British sitcoms used to end with “You Have Been Watching…” and then a montage of clips of each of the stars with their name captioned on the screen? There were quite a few of them, and we tackle the inaccuracies and untruths within one British sitcom this week, or at least Chris does despite Dave’s protests that it wasn’t meant to be real.

We’re coming to you from Barnsley once again, and although we are still a bit hungover, we’re a using sentences a bit more than we were last week.

Please sponsor Chris’s continuing charity moustache, then join us next week for the next thrilling installment of The Blueprint Podcast.

Ruth Madoc in Hi-De-Hi. Chris met her at the Billingham Forum when he was about 18, fact fans. She was very nice.

PS – while looking for Hi-De-Hi related stuff, I’ve just discovered that actress Dianne Holland, who played Yvonne Stewart-Hargreaves in the show, died this February aged 78.  Apparently she was a good laugh in real life.

• Comments Comments Off

 

 Episode 73 - Hangovers in Barnsley [21:21m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

We greet you this week from some nursing accommodation in a Barnsley hospital, the morning after one of those big nights out where the world becomes your friend and everyone wakes up wondering what day it is and where they are.

We pick our way through the previous evening, and along the way find time for the noble signwriting profession and how it would fit into life in the distant future.

We have to say a very special hello and thanks to John and Patrick, whose 40th birthday party we found ourselves attending in Barnsley. Thanks to you guys, and to your friends and family for making us feel so very welcome, and for letting us have loads of goes on the karaoke and buffet.

Here’s the hospital we recorded this podcast at.

Greetings from Barnsley, one friendly town.

We’ll be back with another Barnsley-based episode next week, join us then at www.blueprintpodcast.com.

• Comments Comments Off

 

 Episode 68 - How to Offend Scotland [11:38m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

We’ve got to start with an apology to all of Scotland. Towards the end of this podcast, Chris claims to be able to do Scottish accents, and there’s a chance that he in cannot in fact do anything of the sort.

Apart from that, we get into a trick to pysche out other people in an exam situation, which may not work in world politics, and consider the possibility of a Dadcast, involving our dads.

As ever, it’s all happening. We’ll be back with episode 69 in but a week’s time. Until then, please enjoy this picture of beautiful Scotland, which is a very very good place, and the people there are great, and forgiving.

Scotland - great.

• Comments Comments Off

We have become Twits recently, or at least Chris has, and you’ll find him (me (him)) Twittering most days.

Twitter is a fun little thing. It’s a bit like an unholy union between the status updates of Facebook and the chat rooms of the Internet’s earlier days. The best thing about it is that many famous people are there, and you can pretend that you’re friends with them, even if they largely ignore your sicophantic overtures.

So far, I have been ignored by Stephen Fry, Jonathan Ross and Richard Herring. Oh, and Wesley Crusher from Star Trek, as well. Not a bad list of ignorers, I trust you’ll agree. I aim to be ignored by royalty and a talking animal by the end of this year.

You can come and see what’s going on behind the scenes if you go to http://twitter.com/BlueprintPod

• Comments Comments Off

 

 Episode 63 - Nose Flutes [23:04m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Bang! Episode 63 is here. In this episode, Dave laments the difficulty of finding musical instruments beginning with the letter N.

WIth the benefit of hindsight and Google, I’ve been able to find out that there are loads of them, albeit obscure ones or ones which may not count. The best one is “Nakers”, which is/are a sort of drum(s), but just might be pronounced “knackers” which would be fantastic.

The Vikings, starring Tony Curtis and Kirk Douglas. Made in 1958 and still as fresh as a daisy, by Odin's beard.

We’ll be back again in but a week, so join us then for more Blueprintastic podcasting fun from the United Kingdom.

• Comments Comments Off

 

 Episode 60 - We Built This Podcast on Rock n Roll [36:27m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Okay, let’s start with a Christmas apology. Those of you who turned up here on Boxing Day expecting a new episode will doubtless be incandescent with rage that we didn’t post one.

In the words of Doctor Who, we’re sorry, we’re so sorry.

The reason, much as I wish it was more exciting, was a simple broken Internet connection, and it was more time-consuming than usual to get it fixed because of the presence of Christmas.

But we’re here now, and we’ve got a good episode to usher in 2009. In epiosde 60, we play a new game of Who’s The Greatest, in which Dracula, The Mummy, The Wolfman and Frankenstein’s Monster are tested against various odd benchmarks.

We also try to ascertain what Marconi plays in the Starship song We Built This City. Chris thinks it says “La Bamba”, Dave thinks “the bongos”, and the Internet reckons it’s “the Mamba”.

Following the recording of this episode, we had a further delve into the world of knowledge, and here’s what Wikipedia says a “mamba” can be:

Mamba, a genus of snakes
Mamba, a 1930 film
Armstrong Siddeley Mamba, an aircraft engine
Mamba (roller coaster), a hypercoaster
Mamba Armoured Personnel Carrier
Mamba (candy)
Mamba, the nickname of NBA player Kobe Bryant
Mamba, Tibet

We’re also aware that it’s a type of Adidas trainer. So, which of those things could Marconi be playing? I suppose it’s possible that Marconi could be playing Kobe Bryant at basketball, but it seems somehow incongruous, and being British we know little of this “basket ball” of which you speak.

Your answers would be massively appreciated, especially if you’re Bernie Taupin, Martin Page, Dennis Lambert, and Peter Wolf (they wrote the song), or a member of Starship (they sang it).

Marconi plays the Mamba, or the bongos, or La Bamba. YOU decide.

All silliness aside, both Chris and Dave wish you and the people who matter to you a very happy 2009.

If 2008 has been great, then here’s to more of the same. If 2008 has been soul destroying, then here’s hoping that ’09 is so different as to be unrecognisable as a year at all.

We’ll be back in a week, keep it sleek.

• Comments Comments Off

 

 Episode 57- Space Toilet [37:45m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Episode 57 of The Blueprint Podcast, “Britain’s best podcast with no famous people in it”, is here, with a message from Xavier Laurent, another hotly contested game Quotations, the best way of having a poo in space, and a delve into our completely fictional view of Arthur C. Clarke’s more than mysterious world.

Please take the time to complete our Listener Survey, so that we know what sort of demographic is listening to us, and can tailor the podcast accordingly. For example, the last surveys we got all said “more talk about having a poo in space needed”, so we obliged!

Jet fighters chasing a B2 Bomber in the belief that it's a UFO. The pilots of the bomber also believe that they're aliens. Frankly it's an accident waiting to happen.

We’ll be back next week, get in.

• Comments Comments Off

 

 Episode 56 - Criminal Swimming [27:33m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Episode 56 is a veritable smorgasbord of worldwide interest and competitive chat. Not only do we make a further attempt to speak to Xavier Laurent in France, but we have received an audio greeting all the way from the Netherlands.

We’ve also got a brand new game to play on the subject of quotations, which those of you who are fond of guessing things will adore.

We also chat about Indiana Jones’ CV (that’s his résumé if you’re in the US), and some talk of hydrotherapy leads to an idea for criminal swimmers.

I was nearly late today, because there was a jam on the motorway! Ho ho!

We’d also like to take this opportunity to point you in the direction of some other great podcasts which are floating around the interwaves.

Collins and Herring’s podcast is two famous guys enjoying a bit of chat and banter, and there are plenty of laughs in it, as well as lots of swearing. They’re nice and long, at over an hour each, so if you’re at the gym or on a long journey, make sure you take these two with you, as well as The Blueprint, of course.

Stephen Fry, possibly one of the world’s busiest and most widely-talented living creatures, has some podcast episodes, or Podgrams as he prefers to call them. They are often incisive and incredibly interesting, whilst the belly laughs, when they come, are superb.

• Comments Comments Off